Mr. Walz Goes to Washington, Again!
“The only thing very noticeable about Nebraska was that it was still, all day long, Nebraska.” ~ Willa Cather
Mr. Walz, the current Democratic candidate for Vice President of the United States of America, and I have a lot in common.
We were born and raised in the Heartland. We lived in small towns so isolated that few outsiders know about them. The boutique airlines that are subsidized by the government to fly rural residents in and out are never full, even though there are only eight seats. Once, the pilot and I were the only people on the plane from Denver. It was the closest I’ll ever be to a private jet. Now, that I think about it we had to make a pit stop in Alliance Nebraska because there was a strange rattle in the engine.
Once Mr. Walz and I graduated from high school, we joined the military and left our hometowns behind. Mr. Walz enlisted in the National Guard, and I joined the United States Navy. I cannot speak for him, but I was ready to blow that pop stand, and my parents didn’t think college was important enough to pay for.
Both of us went on to higher education using the G.I. Bill. Mr. Walz attended Chadron State College, which is located in my hometown. He put this lesser known state school on the map, and much to my surprise it has been highlighted on the national news. I graduated from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. It’s already on the map, because the Nebraska Cornhuskers football team is part of the NCAA Division I. Go Big Red!
We both became educators in the public school system. Mr. Walz taught high school history. Several of his former students have been interviewed on NPR. They were the inspiration behind his decision to run for public office in the state of Minnesota. One of his students said, “I can think of no one better than Tim Walz to show us the way forward.” All of the students interviewed so far have been in Mr. Walz’s corner. Even the guy who stated that he was “both practical and goofy.” I taught special education for twenty-five years in four states. I’m not running for office, therefore, none of my students have been interviewed, but I’m sure that more than one of them would say I was goofy.
Mr. Walz was a football coach. I didn’t coach football but I spent a lifetime trying to level the playing field for students with disabilities.
We are card carrying members of the Democratic Party. Growing up in an agricultural, Christian, ultra-conservative, patriarchal, gun toting community means that most Democratic political policies are as unpopular in Dawes County as “childless cat ladies” are to J. D. Vance. (One of the weird guys.)
Mr. Walz and I are not shy about saying what we mean and meaning what we say. He said, “Trump — Vance are just weird as hell.” He is the first person to verbalize on MSNBC what the rest of us have been thinking for a while.
Sometimes our jokes get us into trouble. Mr. Walz cracked a joke about couch sex at his first political rally in Pennsylvania, “I can’t wait to debate the guy — that is if he’s willing to get off the couch and show up.” J. D. Vance did the same thing to himself when he whined about having to sleep on the couch as he desperately attempted to get his wife to the microphone. (He is weird as hell.) While talking about women’s reproductive rights, Mr. Walz joked about a golden rule in Minnesota, “when it comes to respecting your neighbor’s choices: Mind your own damn business.” To be fair, lots of people say this.
Both Mr. Walz and I had a brush with law enforcement when we lived on the Nebraska Panhandle. I read that Mr. Walz was picked up for a DUI. As a side note, a kid I graduated from high school with was the prosecuting attorney. And, I was once arrested for minor in possession of alcoholic beverages. Boones Farm Strawberry Hill tasted like Kool-Aid. I drank it like Kool-Aid, and was caught drinking it while cruising main street in a car of way older people.
According to the article I read, and my own recollection, we both got off easy by today’s standards.
After Mr. Walz’s driving offense, he switched to diet mountain dew. Coincidently, J. D. Vance drinks diet mountain dew too. He made a joke about mountain dew at a Trump rally, and ended up clapping for himself. (It was so weird.)
This is where Mr. Walz and I part ways … now, I am of legal drinking age, and still a wino. Although I have moved on from Strawberry Hill.
My eighty-eight year old mother is a proud supporter of Donald Trump. She voted for him twice, and will do so again along with 96% of the citizens of Dawes County Nebraska. I attempted a light conversation about Mr. Walz.
“He’s not changin my mind.” She snapped. “Maybe I won’t even vote.”
“Actually, it’s interesting how much he and I have in common.” I told her, hoping for a chance to explain our similar experience. My mother usually believes anyone from Western Nebraska is “good people.”
“I don’t like him, and don’t care where he’s from.”
Don’t take it personally Mr. Walz, if I were running for an office, my mom wouldn’t vote for me either.
All day long, it’s still Nebraska.
